A+B(C)+D = why you should listen to me…
Awhile back, I attended a small conference put on by the National Security Network and hosted by the Center for American Progress on the new report and policy recommendations based on the lessons learned from our (the US government’s) attempts at reconstruction and nation building in Iraq. (I don’t care if you don’t like the term nation building, that’s what we’re doing, or trying to do.) The panel was distinguished and included Stuart W. Bowen, Jr. the US Inspector General who recently released his report on the lessons learned from our reconstruction and stabilization efforts in Iraq, an officer of the International Crisis Group (one of my favorite international conflict monitoring NGOs), and a distinguished journalist who served as moderator.
The panel’s discussion was informative, interesting, yada yada yada… However, my interest was not perked all that significantly until the floor was opened for questions. It was then that I, and the room of about 40 captive audience members, was introduced to The DC Conference Question Asker. I’ll call this character the ‘Asker’ for short. If you’ve never been to an epistemic community gathering and listened to questions asked by your peers, you’ve not yet experienced this character.
His (they are mostly men) opening line goes something like this, “Hi, my name is John Smartypants. Thank you very much to all of our distinguished guests for sharing their insight into a very pertinent issue. I work with Impressive Think Tank, Inc., and am currently working on X which is very important and relevant to my previous work with YZ, which you will know well because my partner was your professor at Ivy League School 123. I also go way back with your predecessor; when I was studying for my third, or was it my fourth?, master’s degree from Berkley/Harvard/Princeton, we passed each other in the hallway.”
The Asker’s self-introduction seems very formulaic. Name + deep, if gratuitous, appreciation for the expertise and time shared by the speakers * (how the Asker is currently involved in the topic at hand) + how the Asker is connected to the speaker either through an ivy league school he/she attended or through a past job he/she held = sufficient clout to be taken seriously on the floor.
Unfortunately, this is a long laundry list to enumerate when you are over 35 and have racked up several degrees and have held countless paid and unpaid work experiences with several of the infinite and well-respected DC firms/NGOs/organizations. For the other audience members, this type of preface to a question is 1.) the equivalent of challenging the entire room, which is no doubt equally or more qualified, to a pissing contest, 2.) a great distraction from the topic at hand (FYI: we are here to discuss the current efforts at stabilizing and reconstructing a war-torn country, not your CV!), and 3.) just plain annoying; do not assume anyone cares who you are or what you have done unless you are on the damned panel!
What is the point?
As you can imagine, being in a room with the dreaded Conference Question Asker is annoying and exhausting. You sit through about an hour of panelist discussion of the conference topic; if you’re lucky their delivery will be conversational instead of read from a script, but at times the latter must be endured. Then, after sitting still for that hour, at times feigning interest, you are subjected to the question and answer portion of the event.
The Asker will most always try to get in the first question for reasons I can only imagine: 1.) they are so excited to talk about themselves they just can’t hold in their words, 2.) they may think that all that information is necessary, or (I think the most probable) 3.) they want to be the first to air their laudable accomplishments and to say things that (because Askers all use the same formulaic introduction) will most likely be repeated in the questions to come, such as ‘thanks to the speakers’, ‘I have 15 graduate degrees’, or ‘I worked for Presidents Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush and am a consultant for the Obama administration … and, oh yeah, I founded three NGOs in the process’.
The Question…Please?
The Asker’s general air of self-importance and condescension could very well be over-looked if their predictable introductions were to be followed by a question that makes evident that they 1.) were listening to the panelists, with a genuine ear for what they were trying to convey, 2.) were actually qualified to ask a question, or 3.) were really trying to ASK A QUESTION.
I cannot tell you how many conferences, or scholarly talks, I’ve attended only to encounter an Asker who, after putting the audience through the task of listening to their entire life’s story, asked a question which made it clear to the audience and panelists alike that they had not been listening to the panelists, had no background knowledge to edify their question, or could not even articulate a question or comment that required a response!!
DC Characters 
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